You may remember when I made the decision earlier this year to pivot one of my themes of the year to “Jams” after my husband bought me the Folklore album to just sit and enjoy listening to on our record player- a luxury I rarely gave myself as a mom of three. Little did he know that choice, paired with sending me solo to the Eras tour when we couldn’t get tickets together, would be the start of a total obsession.

I have always been a fan of Taylor Swift’s music. I can mark periods of my life by which of her songs I went back to on repeat (Mine when I was engaged, Shake it Off with re-written words during diaper changes with my youngest, This is me Trying during the impossible feeling decisions I made trying to navigate the pandemic with three littles and virtual school hell- OK, that one basically has never fallen off my radar since I started listening to it…). Or by what songs I had to make myself avoid because they felt too real or too painful or too removed from my current reality (we’ll come back to one of those later). But seeing the Eras tour and adding several more of her full albums to my record collection has led my year to take a strange turn I never expected. It feels a little strange to put in writing, but seeing Taylor embrace all of her eras has led to me feeling like I can embrace my own and reconcile with all my past selves instead of running from them or being embarrassed of them or idealizing one “right” one. It has led me to do some radical work of self compassion and acceptance in the areas of heartache, the what ifs, the life choices I made, and the struggles I’ve gone through. (This actually ties in with another one of my themes for the year– I have been pouring over old journal entries and it has been a really enlightening journey. Sometimes I feel like I was wiser in my younger days! Other times I am SO thankful to be past that part of my life.)

I’m so thankful to Taylor Swift for giving me the words when my own emotions felt too hard or confusing. This has even led a friend and I to create a tradition we like to call “How are you doing? (Taylor’s Version)” Where we just share the lyrics of the day that resonate with us and we know exactly what kind of place the other person is in. This year has also given me the treasured memory of singing Taylor’s Version of “Never Grow Up” with my daughter. When I danced around to the original version, I was an engaged woman wondering what life was going to be like after hitting a new “grown up” milestone. Now I dance to it with my three children who are growing up far too fast but I’m not letting these moments slip away as time continues to blur.  The great memories with my littles continued when I got to take my oldest two to see the Eras movie and watch them notice so many little things and get very excited to sing and dance along to their favorite songs. I loved dressing up with them and watching them trade bracelets and have such a positive fun memory during such a busy year.

Perhaps one of the most significant things about this year though? I have allowed myself

This picture inspired by one of my favorite lyrics- “I want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck not because he owns me, but ’cause he really knows me…”

to embrace my Reputation Era. When that album came out I felt like I couldn’t connect with any of the songs aside from New Year’s Day (which happens to be one of my very favorites) because the other songs felt too angry or too sexy. Seeing the Reputation section of the concert, I came home completely obsessed and realized the album was actually about how much your life can change when you stop worrying about what other people think of you or might be saying about you. When you stop playing the “good girl” and start setting boundaries and finding out what you truly enjoy or are curious about. And, yes, that being in love can make you realize how wonderfully sexy you have always been (and remain, even after three kids and countless nights of bad sleep!) and that in turn can add a whole new level of confidence to everything else you do.

This year I’ve found the confidence to bounce back from some rough post-marathon blues. I’ve explored feelings I would have just pushed down in the past or ignored existing (for example, turns out you can’t wish anger away… my “Reputation era” helped me with some of that too…) It has led to me chasing after the whimsy of kaleidoscopes and friendship bracelets and adding more color to my wardrobe. It has led to one of my favorite family costumes of all time (Can I just say that someone who will agree to go as a
Taylor Swift Era is a major green flag, I’m so glad I married someone who shares my feelings on John Mayer and

So make the friendship bracelets…

Scooter Braun…) And it has led to my record collection growing by one more album this week thanks to the release of
1989 (Taylor’s Version). As we head into the holidays, I’m pretty sure I’ll still be jamming to Delicate and Mirrorball and Karma more than Christmas Tree Farm, but I know I’m heading toward the end of the year changed from what I was at the beginning and knowing that “today is never too late to be brand new” but also that today is never too late to embrace the old either.

Here’s to being in my Eras Era. And jamming to a bunch more Tay Tay in the months to come- be it online or on my record player. And here’s to you, dear reader, finding a way to embrace your eras too- through Swiftie life or otherwise…