I have to be honest with you… 2026 is not my favorite year so far. In fact, it has felt at many times that it is trying to completely break me. I’d say if it’s not one thing then its another, but it has been one thing and another and and and and… all at once. I feel bad being so down on the year because there HAVE been good moments amid what has felt like a total dumpster fire so far, so today I’m trying to write about what most of those happy things have in common: Memories focused around music. Continue reading
2026: I’m still here… and here’s what I’m focusing on this year…
Whelp, I still have a goal of writing once per month, and you might guess from this coming to you in February, not in what felt like an endless January, that I’m off to a rough start. 2026 has been unkind so far and everything is so difficult and chaotic and even discouraging right now that I haven’t felt like writing. At all. But I am trying to remind myself that my core values say I believe sharing goodness and struggles and doing things that scare me or seem daunting are important. So with that, here we go… moving forward to the year of Ms. Continue reading
Marginalia, Managing chaos, and Moving on…
Did you catch all those Ms in the title? My brain is apparently ready to move on to 2026 and my next letter (though I don’t anticipate any of those Ms being a theme choice), but they also relate to how focusing on things I love has kept me from writing as much this year… Continue reading
Learning to Embrace Less
For so long, I took so much pride in my “Xavier Girl” status of the person who can do it all (backwards and in heels… or with baby in carrier and juggling 8 other things…). I have written over and over about how the approval I sought in doing so much has led to a lifelong struggle with perfectionism. So it has been a difficult thing this year to give myself permission to do less Continue reading
A Letter to my Son for his 11th Birthday…
This post is a bit late and I feel behind on EVERYTHING because summer is such good chaos… but better late than never! Here’s my annual open letter to my son for his birthday: Continue reading
Some Thoughts on Trails and Ghosts…
Earlier this year, I saw the documentary The Chase about the Cocodona 250 race last year. As I prepare to volunteer at this year’s race, (and honestly as I reflect on my recent birthday and what I want out of this new year…) I keep thinking about one of the lines in the film, after one of the competitors realizes he won’t be making the podium in the race, he said he realized that he was going to focus on chasing his ghost- beating his old record. It made me want to share some things I have noticed about my time in the mountains with my own ghosts.
A Letter to My Youngest for her 5th Birthday
Yes, 2 love/kid centered posts in a row because I didn’t want to get TOO behind on this tradition of open letters to my kids so…you get a little break from this theme next month before my final kiddo has his birthday letter and then we should be good to go for the rest of the year! But in the meantime… Continue reading
A Letter to My Oldest Daughter for her 8th Birthday
My wonderful, strong, sassy, hilarious, confident middle child,
Your letter this year is coming a bit late this year, I hope you’ll forgive me. Life moves fast nowadays, and there is a lot of chaos in our house and in the world. I am so grateful for the way you impact our family. You are so helpful both at home and at school. You have strong math skills. You refuse to comply just because. You can be as stubborn, precise, and persistent as your mother and as goofy and unpredictable as your father. You ask so many good questions like “Why does spelling have to be so complicated? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does God let people get sick? Can We learn Spanish together?” Occasionally when you don’t like something someone has said you growl at them, and I honestly hope this is a trait you keep because the world needs more women who will growl at nonsense instead of entertaining it.
This past year included growing in your swimming skills, running your first official trail race (with me! a favorite memory from last year!), playing the role of Mother Pig in the school play of “The Three Piggy Opera” as well as performing in some summer theatre camps. When your catechesis class sang carols for the church during Advent you wondered why other people didn’t “memorize their lines” even though you were told you could all hold your music during the singing. You also reprised your Taylor Swift time in the school talent show.
You still love Taylor Swift, but your new favorite music is the soundtrack to Wicked. You confident told us after the first time you watched it “I’m magical and awesome like Elphaba… only with all the friends Glinda has. I don’t know why they are setting it up like you have to be one or the other” and that really sums up your current view on life, something that has remained steady since the earliest open letters to you that I’ve shared with the world0 you embody the phrase “she can be both” and are not interested in being limited by other people’s opinions of you. Sometimes, this can exhaust your dad and I. But most of the time it makes us so proud. They say in general in our society that girls’ confidence plummets starting around age 8 so my wish for you this year is that you hold on to this confidence and that it remains genuine. I hope that you keep using that confidence to lift others up and call out
when you see things that seem unfair or don’t make sense. I love how you use your voice AND you listen. You notice so much.
I love you so much and I learn so much from you. Thank you for all the at home “spa days” you treat me to after long runs. Thank you for being our resident fashion consultant. Thank you for carrying on my legacy of hot sauce on popcorn and begging for potatoes for breakfast. Thank you for standing your ground and standing up for others. Thank you for all the joy you bring to our home and the way that radiates outside our home.
I am wishing you an amazing time being 8 years old. I love you to the moon and to Saturn.
Mom
Learning through Literature: Some Favorite reads of the past year…
One of my favorite posts of the year is sharing top reads from the year before. While I feel like I learn something about myself or the world from almost every book I read- be it novel, poetry collection, or text book, I tried to make my Goodreads post this year an even split between fiction and non-fiction- to really lean into the “learning” theme. 2024 was a very strange year for me with a lot of grief, worlds of wonder, and tons of rediscovering myself as I began adventuring with a whole new group of people as well as some long time very dear friends. I think my favorite reading experiences reflect all that. (PS: honorable mention goes to Emotional Labor which I’ve already recommended several times throughout last year so I didn’t think I needed to get into it again here…) OK, let’s get into it… Continue reading
I’m back! A little catch up and a look at 2025…
OH faithful readers of this blog… if any of you are still out there and still reading, I’m sorry about how I left you hanging the final months of 2024! It turns out training for an ultramarathon takes a LOT of time and brain space and I didn’t even realize how behind I’d gotten until the year was almost over. By then, I didn’t even have it in me to do a year end wrap up so… suffice ti too ay, I love my kids, I spent a lot less time thinking and writing about kaleidoscopes last year than I thought but I am still obsessed with them, I ran a TON of kilometers in 2024, and I did indeed keep moving forward on race day. As for knowledge, that’s being repackaged as an L for this new year… Continue reading