I haven’t written in longer than usual and part of that I already warned everyone about- having a new baby in the house means some chaos and less sleep and rebalancing routines, but there’s another better reason as well…
Having a new baby in the house means all those things I miss about my firstborn being so tiny I get a chance to be intentional with and cherish a little extra this time around. Have there been nap times when I probably could have snuck away and written a post? Probably. But I don’t want to put my sweet daughter down. I want to sit and rock her and take in that newborn smell. I want to watch my son pat her head and give her kisses and hugs. I want to sing lullabies even once she’s fallen asleep and can’t hear them.

After what seemed like a very dark year last year, bringing our daughter into the world has been this bright light and this joy that we are focusing on. We’ve built a little cocoon of family time and I have been able to delight in the simple joys of not feeling sick everyday or sipping on a cup of coffee or crying out of happiness instead of crippling anxiety as I am want to do under the influence of pregnancy hormones…
So I’ve just been soaking in the wonder of experiencing motherhood all over again from the new perspective of having two kids. I LOVE watching my son joyously bound into being a big brother. He wakes up every morning with a loud “daddy, mommy, baby sister!!!” and loves helping with diapers or grabbing burp rags for us. It has been a little bittersweet as it seems like he’s grown up even faster since our daughter came home, but it has also given me some of the happiest moments of my life so far holding both of my children in my lap, reading stories and singing songs.

I know it’s about to get much harder now that my husband is going back to work and I’m going to be outnumbered on a daily basis… I know that double tantrums and even less sleep are in my future. But I also know that family trips, giant snugglefests, new traditions, and even more adorable photos are in my future too. And while I plan to keep writing in this blog on a regular basis… I’m not feeling bad at all for preferring to just BE with my family instead sometimes (or oftentimes as the case may be right now!) I’m spending my time in awe of my daughter’s personality emerging so early and my son’s learning accelerating day by day, and how much more I fall in love with my husband as he gives to our family and models what it is to be an attentive and involved father. It may be a while before we find our new normal or before I feel confident enough to leave the house wrangling two kids two and under… but I’m relishing where we are now and accepting help and encouragement in ways I didn’t know how the first time around.