My Wonderful First Born,
I can’t believe it’s been four whole years since we first met face to face. It was one of the scariest and happiest days of my life. You have taught me so much in that time. You’ve taught me that I’m stronger than I think I am, that I can live on even less sleep than tech weeks taught me, and that there’s no way to be a perfect mom, but that you love me imperfections and all.
You are one of the happiest little boys I’ve ever seen. Your joy cannot be contained and you make friends everywhere you go. If we are at the playground you announce that you are going to go make a friend and then you are off and giggling like crazy. If we are at the children’s museum you try to help the younger kids and tell the other parents how cute their babies are (you LOVE babies!) When we asked you what you wanted for your birthday your answer was “maybe I can eat cake with friends… and we can play with a bubble machine.” Every day you ask if it’s a day we are going to see friends and you are so excited to start going to school a few days a week so you can see friends more.
You are also full of empathy. It has been a hard year for me because you are very empathetic and you learned this year how to realize when your mom is upset or worried about things. Even if I didn’t say anything about it you’d see my face and say, “What’s wrong mommy?” There are a lot of scary, overwhelming things in the world but YOU make me cling to hope that we can and must make it better. You make me want to be active instead of cynical. You make me want to be present instead of distracted by all the what ifs and snarky debate. You don’t just have empathy for your family though, you are constantly identifying if your favorite characters on TV or in books are sad and you even empathize with the bad guys saying they must be feeling sad to act the way they are. You love thinking of ways to comfort others, even if it’s just someone in the grocery store who looks like they are sad or tired.

You are also hysterical and adorable. You are four years old and I know the term “fournado” is a popular one to describe this age- I have no doubt you will do that nickname justice with your energy and speed and volume. While other kids might just sit and watch TV, you make it an event with singing along to every song whether you know it or not (and you actually know a stunning number of lyrics for your age!) and even acting out many of the actions. You call bathing suits “bathing soup” and you still call Goofy “Goosy” you call the letter K the letter “cake” and so it is one of your favorites (Along with X because that’s where the treasure is… you are a bit obsessed with pirates) and you call the lower case letter T “Jesus on the cross” because you learned all about the cross at catechesis and in MOPS this year. Speaking of Jesus… you love saying your prayers at night-especially praying for your sister who is one of your best friends and you are always asking me questions about God that make me think. You love dance parties. You love to run. You love the garden and playing in the water with your sister. Your appetite is only matched by your big heart. You still have big emotions that you are learning to deal with. You can’t wait for our beach trip this summer.
You are four and you have made the last four years of my life so wonderful.
Happy Birthday, Son. I love you more than the world is wide and I love watching you grown and learn and spread your excitement about life.

-Mom