I called a mulligan on my morning today. I had a really rough start with no coffee, a night of fitful sleeping, some emotional stress, a crazy baby who has discovered that he thinks it is HILARIOUS to throw things we need into the trash and then watch us dig for them, etc. etc.
It became even worse when I was dealing with issues with my federal student loan account (always a pleasure to have to deal with that-ugh) and went to call them about it only to realize I could not find my phone. I spent the next 30 minutes ransacking the living room where I know I had it- moving the couch, looking in between all the cushions, I even double checked to make sure it didn’t end up in the pile of stuff we are giving to good will even though I was nowhere near there earlier in the day. I emailed my husband at work and asked him to call the phone but of course I had it on silent so that did not help. I then lost it.
And what made me feel like crap is that it’s the first time my child has seen and registered that I lost it. I didn’t want to pick him up or put him in a baby carrier. I wanted to find my phone! I had work to do! (Remind me to write a future blog on the strange thing that is being a part time freelancer and a mom. You aren’t exactly a stay at home mom, a working mom, a work at home mom… it’s probably worth writing about.) I was too impatient to keep it all in and I just wanted to scream at my sweet little boy for doing what kids do- getting into things and wanting attention. I didn’t know what to do, so I turned to my online community.
I asked a few of my mom friends: “What do you do when you feel like you have 0 patience from everything else going on in life to keep your bad mood from impacting how you take care of your child?” and they gave me some amazing and helpful responses including giving myself grace, offering a mantra of reminding myself that it is not my baby’s fault, going for a walk, and giving my son a long bath where we can play- oh, and getting myself some caffeine stat.
So I made myself let go of all the things that felt urgent and important and that I was afraid were going to make me look horrible or cause untold problems if I didn’t get to them ASAP, I went on a very restorative walk and then came home to give my son a bath. And as I was undressing him for his bath what did I find in his diaper? My phone. The little stinker had absconded with it and thought to stuff it down his onesie! He gave me the biggest giggle when I found it, like I had just won a game. And while part of me wanted to discourage this lest he get the idea that I wanted to keep playing this again in the future, instead I started laughing too because I think there are some good lessons for me that I learned from losing my phone this morning:
1. Once again, community is key. I’m so thankful for the suggestions I got to reset our day.
2. Whatever it is, unless it is truly life and death, it is not that urgent. WE live in such an age of NOW that it is easy to find the balance between begin productive and managing time well vs. crushing ourselves with the immediate
3. It’s not too late to turn your day around
4. Sleep is SO important to the way I see things, but if sleep is not a possibility, caffeine can be a really good temporary substitute
5. We don’t own a ridiculous number of things compared to Americans in general, but we probably still own too much stuff- it took WAY too much time to assure myself I’d looked everywhere for my phone.
6. I REALLY need to check myself and my use of my cell phone around my kid. He so clearly already understands that this is a very important thing to mom and so he wants to have it and I’m not thrilled with that. I’d much rather he be absconding with books…
7. I am going to have my hands full as my smart, sneaky boy continues to grow up! But nothing quite compares to one of his great big belly laughs.
Anyone else have a Tuesday that felt more like a Monday?