February has always been a bit of a rough month in spite of its fewer days… My timehop and on this day entries seem to witness some passionate celebrations of love and friendship in the midst of a lot of struggle- February is a cold miserable time back east (well, it is for those like me who hate the cold)
But even being here in AZ where the temperatures are climbing to summery weather, it’s been a rough month so far. So what have I been most consistent with this month? Well, even more than my at least daily rosary which I’ve been good about 6-7 days a week so far, exhaustion has been the most consistent companion for me this month. From strong migraines to sinus infections to a teething toddler— I have been overly tired even on the rare days I get to sleep in a bit and coffee doesn’t seem to have quite the punch I want it to to get my day back on track.
I’ve managed to plow on through with many obligations and activities. But in the end, I’ve wanted to throw my hands up and skip out on many more fun, good for me options as possible. Sometimes I actually give into that want. Other times, I force myself to go through with it anyway and usually end up having a really good time… but I’m even more tired afterward. I know it is probably just the facts of life right now (How do parents of multiples do it?! I’m so exhausted already…) and just a season of life… but to be completely honest, it feels like I must be doing something wrong.
It has been a huge act of commitment to write when it is usually a pleasure. Luckily, with
all the cooking experiments and celebrations, we still have lots of leftovers in the fridge because cooking has seemed so draining too! We’ve been sticking with homemade “fast food” like string cheese, apples, frozen stir fry. All the things we thought we’d save until rehearsals started…
SO: I need a kickstart to finish out this month and enjoy the weeks of lovely weather we have left before what seems like an early, long, and hot summer makes its way to Arizona. Thoughts? I’m already exercising 3-4 times a week. I don’t eat fast food. I don’t sleep well but I’m not sure there are good ways to fix that when I have trouble falling asleep and a toddler who is an early riser. (Please don’t suggest giving up coffee as I have tried that several times in the past and the pros have never outweighed the cons for me.) I’m genuinely asking. And I’m also apologizing for this being less of a blog post and more of an extended Facebook status/rant.
Maybe I’ll feel better on my own when this sinus infection goes away. But for now I’m feeling really exhausted, really behind, and really disappointed with the lack of patience and kindness that tends to accompany this exhaustion… (in a related note- we’ve been entering our first real waves of tantrum times… the patience tank is being emptied by that too. help?)