I wrote last post about how change can be really hard and how long distance with my husband has made this a trying month. But today, as we close out April and as I close out my 20s, I wanted to write about some awesome changes that have happened during the last decade:
*When I was in college and just entering my 20s, I think it is safe to say that most of my friends would have assumed I’d be one of the last people in my group of friends to get married. I didn’t date much, I was terrified of commitment and disillusioned with the idea of marriage. Lo and behold I ended up finding someone who changed all that. I couldn’t be happier that I did.
*When I first started dating my husband, I told him explicitly that I hated the idea of receiving flowers as a gift. I didn’t understand the point of spending money on something that was just going to die a few days or weeks later. My first birthday, he played on this idea and got me a beautifully handcrafted blown glass flower because it wouldn’t die and would stay beautiful. I still have that flower (though I was TERRIFIED for a while I would break it, so far it has survived several moves and a toddler) but my views on actual flowers has definitely changed. I now find that their temporal beauty makes me enjoy them even more in the moment. I love occasions when I receive them. And perfectly enough, a beautiful bouquet of flowers is the first gift I received for my upcoming 30th birthday. Change can be oh so good.
*Having a baby changed too much for me to put into words and I can’t think of a better change for my life. I’m going to quote a fellow artist’s words for this instead:
Today, a woman at the store tells me: “Your life will change.”
She goes on for about ten minutes with some specifics, punctuating every foreboding with the same sentiment: “Your life will change.”
Really? Lady. You seem pretty cool. But you make it sound like maybe I should turn back now and enjoy a few more years of cosmos and clubbing (gross and grosser.)
“Your life will change.”
You mean, I will have to put another person before all other priorities? I will no longer be the center of my universe? I will be exhausted and uncomfortable and stressed over someone else?
“Your life will change.”
Well guess what…? THANK GOD.
(Ginna I hope you don’t mind the shout out! I hope your show about this comes to AZ sometime soon J )
That change of being uncomfortable and stressed over someone else doesn’t necessarily come from having a baby- but for me it sure as heck did and it’s a change I’m still learning from every day because it is a change that continues to mutate every day (dealing with a baby? WAY different from dealing with a toddler.) It has also changed how I view my community and added beautiful new members to that community.
*Change means not every decision I make needs to have the fate of the world type pressure I put on myself because very few changes and choices are permanent. For some reason this shift in perspective has helped me so much. Even temporary changes can shake things up and keep me from feeling like I have to do ALL THE THINGS perfectly because my decisions can change and each day I get new choices. This week- I chose to change my surroundings, so I picked up and had a mother son road trip to California in the middle of the week. Seeing a dear high school friend and spending time at the ocean was JUST what I needed to help offset the difficulty of this past month and to re-center before entering a new year of life.
So here’s to change and making the best of all the changes still to come this year. And all the people willing to embrace the changes with me. You know who you are and I love you and am so thankful for you.