Goals in Limbo…

So I usually do this kind of monthly check in post just as the month is beginning, but I second guessed even writing anything this month with how scary and ever changing and exhausting the world is right now. To be honest, my goals seem so small and frivolous. But a friend of mine on the “front lines” reminded me that these small moments and joys with my family are, in the end, what they are fighting for people to have, to keep living for. This is also the easiest way for me to document what day to day life was focused on during this season. So here it goes

March Recap- obviously March did not go as anyone in this country planned. Add to that newborn life and it was even more hit and miss… But Here’s an update on what did happen.
March Monthly Goals:
*Discuss/Plan Family Values and Routines: Well… we started this and then ALL routines went out the window… and what a great chance to re-evaluate what are truly our CORE values.
*Cherish Paternity Leave and Family Time!: I am more grateful than ever for the paternity leave… we ended up having more of this than we planned but trying to look at this as a blessing, not just a stressful side effect of the economy imploding… we are just so grateful my husband still has a job when so many are facing unemployment.
*Post Partum/Baby doctor appointments: I had NO IDEA how stressful these would turn out to be, but we went through with them with as many precautions as possible. I can’t wait for the day when well checks will feel normal and when I won’t be huddled in my car until the doctor is ready as opposed to reading in the waiting room!
*Build Pumped Milk Stash: A good start here but a ways to go… I’m in the routine now, though, so this won’t need to be repeated on the tending list next month.

Definitely no extra goals with all the changes and stress. Just tried to take it one day at a time!

March Weekly Goals:
*Family Meeting/Budget Check In: Well… I mean… yes? It was a rough month on the budget and I think it will continue to be so for the next few months, but we are being as frugal as possible and we are making it work the best we can!
*Photo Back Up/ Photo pages and projects:  This happened about half the time? We have been having computer issues so that was a bummer for progress on this goal.
*Self Care Time out: This happened maybe one of four times… once again this reminds me that this is my lowest priority when it comes to goals…
*Social Media Free Day: This also happened once… I am trying very hard to get away from the compulsion to read the news 24/7 but did not do a great job of that last month…
*Blog to process post partum: I did two of these posts and had a few more blog posts ready to go but once things started getting really serious and stressful with the pandemic they just didn’t feel right  and I was just too overwhelmed to write much else. Maybe I’ll post what I did write later in the year…

March Daily Goals:

*Hydrate/Prioritize Sleep: 
The hydrate part happened really well! Let’s focus on that…
*Record Step Count: For the most part I remembered to do this and it gave me a good idea of a reasonable goal for this next month.
*Document this time, but also daily delete: Ups and downs here. Did not do well with the daily delete but planning to try again this month.
*1 on 1 time (x3): Hit and miss here as well. Forgot just how much time newborns spend nursing! So I’m making this a more realistic weekly goal
*Coffee & Jesus: Not as much Write the Word time as I’d have liked, but a lot of coffee and a lot of daily devotionals!

As we adjust to this new normal, here is what I am focusing on in April…

April Monthly Goals:
*Intentional Holy Week and Easter: This will definitely not feel the same with all the not attending church (aside from virtually) and not having an Easter celebration with family… I think this is a time that is really going to hit everyone with how much even the simple act of being together really means to all of us. I want to observe and celebrate with the kids in our own small way- even if that means construction paper palm leaves and a much smaller egg hunt/brunch plans than we would usually have.
*Plan for/ reflect on my upcoming birthday: My birthday is May 1st, and while the official stay at home order in my state is set to end the final day of April, I just have a feeling we will all still be in quarantine and I will join the March and April birthdays in a strange, at home, very different kind of birthday. I still want to mark it in some special way so as not to be totally depressed so I want to think on that, and as always I want to reflect on things in general before starting a new year.
*Re-arrange the office to do our best work in this season: Between sudden homeschooling and some working from home and the projects I’d still like to try and catch up on, we need to reassess our office and re-clean the areas that have started accumulating clutter again.
*Enjoy the garden: I’m so glad we planted our spring garden in February, even if it was more haphazard than usual. We have roses blooming already and have been so thankful for anything that has started to sprout. It is this really lovely symbol of hope and life continuing amid this stressful pandemic. I’m hoping by the end of the month we will get some more veggies out of the garden to add to our diet as we are trying to really limit grocery runs right now, but even if it gets to hot for many blooms or vegetables I want to make time with the kids to enjoy it.
*Explore creative outlets with the kids: One of the cool things to come out of our unconventional schooling right now is that my son has had a lot of time to work on drawing and has found he LOVES it (thank you Mo Willems and your lunch doodles!) He has filled mulitple notebooks with doodles and started writing his own books. I will be honest- I see some of my friends being really artistically productive or inspired right now and that is just not me. I feel like it’s a struggle just to get through most days and feel pretty burned out/not up for anything else… but I think just spending some creative energy WITH the kids instead of trying to work AROUND the kids will help this.
*Hold space for big emotions and extra time to work through this strange situation: This includes my big emotions, my kids’ big emotions, etc. etc. It’s ok if this list doesn’t get fully checked off or even half way there… it is a strange time and we are all trying our best to just stay healthy, safe, and help others the best we know how with what we have right now.

April Weekly Goals:
*Photo backup/ document this time: I want to document the challenges and the scary things and also the lovely everyday joys and the resilience. I also want to make sure with all the pictures I’m still taking of our newborn that I’m backing up my phone… especially since you can’t get to an Apple store right now if anything goes wrong!
*Work on Legacy journals for each kid: I really fell out of the routine of writing down phrases and observations about each kid once a week and I hope to find some time to get back to that!
*Family meeting/Budget check in: It feels weird to still need a “family meeting” when we are together in the same house ALL THE TIME… but it still helps re-set us for the week and gives us a sense of rhthm and routine. The budget part is even more important with job hours in flux and not feeling sure of what income will look like over the next several months…
*1 on 1 time/ at home “dates”: Not just with hubby but each kid as well. This really makes a huge difference in re-setting and in enjoying each other.
*Write: Even if it’s not writing I end up sharing, I want to try and take a little time each week to write- whether that be a blog post or personal journaling or something else

April Daily Goals:
*Hydrate: Honestly the number one priority given our circumstances- I want to keep my supply up, I want to stay as healthy as possible, and April is when the weather starts heating up so…. chugging alll the water
*6k Steps: I know, I’m back to such a low step count number, but my house is small and some days timing

Bags of yard work in the background, post partum body in the foreground… still making time to get on my mat, no perfection required…

doesn’t work out to go for a walk or run (plus, I spend a LOT of time nursing sitting down at the moment- hopefully by next month baby girl will have the neck and trunk control to nurse more easily in a carrier!) So starting small and will work my way up little by little.
*Sunshine and stretching: Even if I don’t make it out for a walk every day I can still get SOME sunshine in to reset my mental health, and I want to do at least a little stretching each day, if not a mini or full online yoga option…
*Cherish nursing: Since I’ve had such a hit and miss relationship with breastfeeding, it is important to me that I take a moment each day to be truly grateful that I don’t have to worry about finding formula during this crazy time of panic buying and budget cuts. Plus, this time really does FLY BY and I want to soak in the sweet snuggly nursing sessions before they turn into the distracted, older baby all over the place kind of moments.
*Daily Delete and Screen free boundaries: I want my daily delete of photos from each day to help my photo routine each week given how many pictures I take with a new baby around…. but I also want it to signal the end of my screen time for the day… because I won’t lie, my screentime reports since this pandemic ramped up have been embarrassingly high and it is messing with my sleep so… trying to set some nightly boundaries and routines.

I’m torn between feeling like all that is a LOT of stuff and feeling like I could be doing so much more- anyone else feel all over the place and have no idea what feelings might come up from day to day? Stay safe and stay home as much as possible and hopefully we can all start adding meet ups and in person celebrations with more than just immediate family members to our plans for the month!

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