Goals in Limbo…

So I usually do this kind of monthly check in post just as the month is beginning, but I second guessed even writing anything this month with how scary and ever changing and exhausting the world is right now. To be honest, my goals seem so small and frivolous. But a friend of mine on the “front lines” reminded me that these small moments and joys with my family are, in the end, what they are fighting for people to have, to keep living for. This is also the easiest way for me to document what day to day life was focused on during this season. So here it goes

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Prenatal Anxiety Part 2: Fighting for Fun in a Hormone Induced Hurricane

I wrote this post very shortly after coming home from the hospital last month- before the COVID-19 pandemic had really escalated. In light of that I debated taking a break from posting, but then I wondered if maybe my anxiety coping mechanisms could help people out as we all go through this anxious time… I certainly find myself needing to use them again as I struggle to get through the fear of how long this will last, how bad it will be, and how uncertain everything feels- no clue what is next. So I’m publishing it today and hoping it doesn’t sound too tone deaf given how quickly our world seems to have changed…

In my last post, I wrote about how in all three of my pregnancies I struggled with prenatal anxiety, but the way I dealt with that anxiety changed as I learned more about what prenatal anxiety was, what it meant for me, and how I might deal with it given my choice to have more children. This post talks about some of the ways I “dealt with it” during this last pregnancy…

*Just like in my last post, I do list some specific fears and anxieties in this post so it could be triggering for others suffering from anxiety or those who have been through miscarriage or infant loss* Continue reading

Prenatal Anxiety Part 1: Pregnancy Guilt

I promise after the next few pregnancy and post partum posts I’ll move on to a lighter note, but first it’s time to dig in to the more emotional side… I’ve been hesitant to write these thoughts because I don’t want my 3rd kid (or any of my kids!) to read this one day and think that I didn’t want them, but I know that the fear and shame I still feel around what I know is a much more common occurrence than people talk about is exactly why I need to write this post.

*In this post I do list some specific fears and anxieties, so it could be triggering for others suffering from anxiety or those who have been through miscarriage or infant loss* Continue reading

GOODReads

I can’t believe we are almost through February already! I obviously got a little distracted with the addition of our new family member mid-month, but more on that to come next month… Before we get too far into the year, I wanted to share a good thing- several actually, because today I’m recapping some of the best books I read in 2019… Continue reading

Why Am I Writing This Blog?! (A Glimpse at Another “G” for 2020)

A question I ask myself every year as the end of the year approaches is if I want to keep blogging in the new year. And maybe it’s the hormones or the knowledge that exhaustion is around the corner, but this year in particular I struggled with this question and it led me to ask the bigger questions of WHY am I writing this blog anyway? Continue reading

A Letter to my Daughter for her Third Birthday

Sweet Girl,
I can’t believe you are now three years old. Somehow I simultaneously feel like there’s no way that much time could possibly have passed since your birth, and other days I can’t believe how bright and talkative you are for only having lived three years.

You started preschool this year and have loved this transition. You are going two days a week and clearly wish it was more as you STILL try to run into your brother’s class when it isn’t your school day. You love talking about what you learned and showing me your art projects. You have so much to say but still are hesitant to talk in big groups, preferring smaller interactions.

You also started gymnastics this year and you LOVE talking about the different jumps you practice there and how you want to practice your balance beam. You look forward to gymnastics day all week. That’s not the only physical fitness you are interested in- you have become OBSESSED with hiking and were very upset during the hot months of the summer when we didn’t go- you would ask almost every day and were so excited when the weather cooled off enough for us to hit the trails again. You transitioned from hiking with mom in a baby carrier to insisting you are a hiker that can walk on her own. You can rock out several miles of trail and are fearless when tackling the steep, rocky parts of a trail. Sometimes this makes me a little nervous, but mostly it makes me super proud and I have loved our one on one hikes the past year. You even asked to have your classmates join you for a hike for your birthday instead of inviting them to a party which probably would have been overwhelming for you.

You have continued to find your voice this year- your vocabulary continues to blow us away and you have learned that sometimes you have to be as loud as you brother to get a word in. This has made our household a lot louder, but also even more entertaining. Your dad and I love hearing you and your brother sing together in the morning or tell each other stories. You love playing pretend with him, whether that is creating tea parties or dressing up as Elsa or giving us all doctor check ups.

Other things about this past year: Your most common phrases are “Can I just try a tiny bite?” “Where is teacher Jen?” and telling people your full name. Your favorite foods are apples, chicken, chips and salsa, and anything mom is eating- it doesn’t count unless it’s on my plate though. You still love picking out your own outfits, especially shoes. Your favorite game is Feed the Woozle. Your preschool teacher has told me on numerous occasions that she is convinced you will one day run a small country. You are obsessed with sunglasses.

I am so excited for this new year- not only because I know you will keep learning so much as a three year old, but because you are so excited about being a big sister and I can’t wait to see you officially meet your little sister. Each morning you come and kiss my belly and tell her good morning and ask when she’s going to come out and play. It should be less than a month until that happens- your wait is almost over!

I want you to know as you become the middle child that you will always be so unique and special to us. I promise we will still have one on one dates, that I will listen to your stories and questions, and that I will continue to treasure what makes you unique from your siblings (Don’t forget that! Even as I express the love I have seeing the things you have in common!)

 

I love you so much and wish I could slow down time just a little to enjoy you all the more.

Mom

2020 GOALS- Another G for the New Year…

Happy new year!! It should not be surprising to any long time readers that as we enter the year of Gs one of the focuses of this blog will be GOALS (Because hasn’t it always been a focus anyway?) I’ve finished my Powersheets prep for 2020 and I’m ready to share my goals for the new year! This year’s powersheets prep was a bit different as we know there is such a big change so early in the year. I tried to think of what it was like to do this prep work just before my second child was born but I must have blacked out that period of time because I have no memory of it whatsoever! Continue reading