Learning to Embrace Less

For so long, I took so much pride in my “Xavier Girl” status of the person who can do it all (backwards and in heels… or with baby in carrier and juggling 8 other things…). I have written over and over about how the approval I sought in doing so much has led to a lifelong struggle with perfectionism. So it has been a difficult thing this year to give myself permission to do less Continue reading

Some Thoughts on Trails and Ghosts…

Earlier this year, I saw the documentary The Chase about the Cocodona 250 race last year. As I prepare to volunteer at this year’s race, (and honestly as I reflect on my recent birthday and what I want out of this new year…) I keep thinking about one of the lines in the film, after one of the competitors realizes he won’t be making the podium in the race, he said he realized that he was going to focus on chasing his ghost- beating his old record. It made me want to share some things I have noticed about my time in the mountains with my own ghosts.

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A Letter to My Youngest for her 5th Birthday

Yes, 2 love/kid centered posts in a row because I didn’t want to get TOO behind on this tradition of open letters to my kids so…you get a little break from this theme next month before my final kiddo has his birthday letter and then we should be good to go for the rest of the year! But in the meantime… Continue reading

A Letter to My Oldest Daughter for her 8th Birthday

My wonderful, strong, sassy, hilarious, confident middle child,

Your letter this year is coming a bit late this year, I hope you’ll forgive me. Life moves fast nowadays, and there is a lot of chaos in our house and in the world. I am so grateful for the way you impact our family. You are so helpful both at home and at school. You have strong math skills. You refuse to comply just because. You can be as stubborn, precise, and persistent as your mother and as goofy and unpredictable as your father. You ask so many good questions like “Why does spelling have to be so complicated? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does God let people get sick? Can We learn Spanish together?” Occasionally when you don’t like something someone has said you growl at them, and I honestly hope this is a trait you keep because the world needs more women who will growl at nonsense instead of entertaining it.

This past year included growing in your swimming skills, running your first official trail race (with me! a favorite memory from last year!), playing the role of Mother Pig in the school play of “The Three Piggy Opera” as well as performing in some summer theatre camps. When your catechesis class sang carols for the church during Advent you wondered why other people didn’t “memorize their lines” even though you were told you could all hold your music during the singing. You also reprised your Taylor Swift time in the school talent show.

You still love Taylor Swift, but your new favorite music is the soundtrack to Wicked. You confident told us after the first time you watched it “I’m magical and awesome like Elphaba… only with all the friends Glinda has. I don’t know why they are setting it up like you have to be one or the other” and that really sums up your current view on life, something that has remained steady since the earliest open letters to you that I’ve shared with the world0 you embody the phrase “she can be both” and are not interested in being limited by other people’s opinions of you. Sometimes, this can exhaust your dad and I. But most of the time it makes us so proud. They say in general in our society that girls’ confidence plummets starting around age 8 so my wish for you this year is that you hold on to this confidence and that it remains genuine. I hope that you keep using that confidence to lift others up and call out when you see things that seem unfair or don’t make sense. I love how you use your voice AND you listen. You notice so much.

I love you so much and I learn so much from you. Thank you for all the at home “spa days” you treat me to after long runs. Thank you for being our resident fashion consultant. Thank you for carrying on my legacy of hot sauce on popcorn and begging for potatoes for breakfast. Thank you for standing your ground and standing up for others. Thank you for all the joy you bring to our home and the way that radiates outside our home.

I am wishing you an amazing time being 8 years old. I love you to the moon and to Saturn.

Mom

Learning through Literature: Some Favorite reads of the past year…

One of my favorite posts of the year is sharing top reads from the year before. While I feel like I learn something about myself or the world from almost every book I read- be it novel, poetry collection, or text book, I tried to make my Goodreads post this year an even split between fiction and non-fiction- to really lean into the “learning” theme. 2024 was a very strange year for me with a lot of grief, worlds of wonder, and tons of rediscovering myself as I began adventuring with a whole new group of people as well as some long time very dear friends. I think my favorite reading experiences reflect all that. (PS: honorable mention goes to Emotional Labor which I’ve already recommended several times throughout last year so I didn’t think I needed to get into it again here…) OK, let’s get into it… Continue reading

I’m back! A little catch up and a look at 2025…

OH faithful readers of this blog… if any of you are still out there and still reading, I’m sorry about how I left you hanging the final months of 2024! It turns out training for an ultramarathon takes a LOT of time and brain space and I didn’t even realize how behind I’d gotten until the year was almost over. By then, I didn’t even have it in me to do a year end wrap up so… suffice ti too ay, I love my kids, I spent a lot less time thinking and writing about kaleidoscopes last year than I thought but I am still obsessed with them, I ran a TON of kilometers in 2024, and I did indeed keep moving forward on race day. As for knowledge, that’s being repackaged as an L for this new year… Continue reading

Back to School!

We made it through the first week of school. We made it through the insane back to school supply list shopping which seems to get longer and more expensive every year. We made it through meet the teacher and preliminary PTSA work. Yes, our schools start early. Especially for a place that still has triple digit temps every day… I wanted to make this week’s post about reflecting on what back to school with the kids feels like this year..

*Traditions: We’ve had enough school years under our belt at this point that we have some firmly established traditions. Some, my oldest is starting to roll his eyes at- the first day pictures in particular. Others, are asked about for weeks ahead of time- like our Last Sundae before school tradition (this makes a nice little bookend with our first day of summer break ice cream for breakfast tradition). It has been really fun watching moms with younger kids see our traditions and adapt them for their own. I hope they love them as much as we have so far.

*Goals for the year/what we’re excited about: As the kids have grown, we’ve also started talking about some goals for the school year, what seems special to them about each grade, etc. These aren’t as set as “traditions” but I think these kind of conversations are going to remain really important and hopefully feel like a special parent/child check in for years to come. We also use the start of each semester to reassess what extra curricular activities we’ll have on our plate and any special goals for them.

*Restarting routines!: anyone else have a love/hate relationship with this? Whether you are a teacher, student, or parent, the re-entry into school life after summer break can be a challenge and blessing all rolled into one. My kids don’t struggle with waking up on time as they are early risers and our district starts relatively later in the day, but getting back into the swing of packed lunches, set snacks instead of grazing all day, and then the dreaded after school routine where they are often more tired and hungry and grumpy the first few weeks tries all of our patience. And yet, it also feels GOOD to get back into a routine and have an idea of exactly what each day needs or will bring, when we can schedule other stuff, etc.

*Realizing times are changing: It really hit me this season that we are moving further and further away from the baby stage. It is our final year at the preschool we’ve loved seeing each of our kids attend. Homework looks different for my older kids as he moves into different kinds of projects and gets to take on “mentorship positions” as one of the older grades at his school. I don’t have a full school day every day yet, but I do have more time kid-free than I have in a decade and that is so strange (but also what makes me feel more confident about deciding to train for a ton of running in the mountains!) It is really hitting me how FAST the rest of our time with kids in school is going to go and what a ride it has all been so far.

So here’s to a new school year and all the stories, memories, stresses, adventures, and curious questions it is sure to bring. Watching my kids get excited about learning reminds me how much I love to keep learning and that is the best! I hope that any of my readers whose lives still revolve around the school year are having or will have an easy transition back!