Prenatal Anxiety Part 2: Fighting for Fun in a Hormone Induced Hurricane

I wrote this post very shortly after coming home from the hospital last month- before the COVID-19 pandemic had really escalated. In light of that I debated taking a break from posting, but then I wondered if maybe my anxiety coping mechanisms could help people out as we all go through this anxious time… I certainly find myself needing to use them again as I struggle to get through the fear of how long this will last, how bad it will be, and how uncertain everything feels- no clue what is next. So I’m publishing it today and hoping it doesn’t sound too tone deaf given how quickly our world seems to have changed…

In my last post, I wrote about how in all three of my pregnancies I struggled with prenatal anxiety, but the way I dealt with that anxiety changed as I learned more about what prenatal anxiety was, what it meant for me, and how I might deal with it given my choice to have more children. This post talks about some of the ways I “dealt with it” during this last pregnancy…

*Just like in my last post, I do list some specific fears and anxieties in this post so it could be triggering for others suffering from anxiety or those who have been through miscarriage or infant loss* Continue reading

Prenatal Anxiety Part 1: Pregnancy Guilt

I promise after the next few pregnancy and post partum posts I’ll move on to a lighter note, but first it’s time to dig in to the more emotional side… I’ve been hesitant to write these thoughts because I don’t want my 3rd kid (or any of my kids!) to read this one day and think that I didn’t want them, but I know that the fear and shame I still feel around what I know is a much more common occurrence than people talk about is exactly why I need to write this post.

*In this post I do list some specific fears and anxieties, so it could be triggering for others suffering from anxiety or those who have been through miscarriage or infant loss* Continue reading

You Can’t Fake a Deep Breath

In an earlier blog post, I mentioned Kristin Linklater’s awesome quote on how holding your breath makes part of you absent. I think that observation is one of the intimidating things about activities that make you take deep breaths and truly be present- acting, yoga, birth, prayer, rest (not just sleeping but sabbath day take a break or a vacation conscious rest…). All of these activities make me recognize my own humanity, my frailty, my imperfections. Continue reading