Today I am writing about something that may seem only tangentially related to my themes for the year, but it actually ties into several of them. I want to talk a little bit about battling with feelings of shame when you backslide in one area or another, especially living in a culture that is obsessed with productivity and progress. It can feel so discouraging to experience a regression of any sort, and no one really wants to talk about that stuff, which is why I feel like it is really important to talk about my own struggles with the backslides I have had this year. Continue reading
anxiety
Three Questions I ask Myself Daily
OK, so this post is full of some real talk… I have been on the struggle bus for a while. I KNOW this is a seasonal challenge- August and early September are truly just the time of year when Phoenicians are constantly wondering if they should pack it all up and move… and this year has been extra hard with all the humid heat instead of our typical dry heat. Plus, while I have been outside training, I am doing all of it trying to avoid the sunlight as much as possible- running super early, taking the shadiest paths possible, etc. And my mental health is just SO much better when I can actually go out and ENJOY the sunshine. So while I am in a season of struggle, one of my go-to practices is to “do in the dark what you know how to do in the light” and that means things like continuing to move my body, practicing gratitude, hydrating, praying, and asking myself the following 3 questions when I start to get really overhwelmed and critical of myself…which can pop up a lot during this training cycle, especially as my miles for the week keep getting more intense… Continue reading
My mental energy is all spoken for…
I’m going to be honest- I have no mental energy, no “emotional spoons” left for much of anything after just making it through the day encouraging the kids and trying to maintain some semblance of a new normal. Continue reading
Celebrating Life
I celebrated my birthday a week ago. Since then I’ve had a lot of people ask me how it was and my response has either been the tongue in cheek “as good as it could possibly be given the world right now” or the more direct and more honest, “Highly emotional” It was weird. I’ll remember it forever. And I hope that the best case scenarios come to pass and I won’t have to have a “socially distant” birthday again next year. Continue reading
Prenatal Anxiety Part 2: Fighting for Fun in a Hormone Induced Hurricane
I wrote this post very shortly after coming home from the hospital last month- before the COVID-19 pandemic had really escalated. In light of that I debated taking a break from posting, but then I wondered if maybe my anxiety coping mechanisms could help people out as we all go through this anxious time… I certainly find myself needing to use them again as I struggle to get through the fear of how long this will last, how bad it will be, and how uncertain everything feels- no clue what is next. So I’m publishing it today and hoping it doesn’t sound too tone deaf given how quickly our world seems to have changed…
In my last post, I wrote about how in all three of my pregnancies I struggled with prenatal anxiety, but the way I dealt with that anxiety changed as I learned more about what prenatal anxiety was, what it meant for me, and how I might deal with it given my choice to have more children. This post talks about some of the ways I “dealt with it” during this last pregnancy…
*Just like in my last post, I do list some specific fears and anxieties in this post so it could be triggering for others suffering from anxiety or those who have been through miscarriage or infant loss* Continue reading
Prenatal Anxiety Part 1: Pregnancy Guilt
I promise after the next few pregnancy and post partum posts I’ll move on to a lighter note, but first it’s time to dig in to the more emotional side… I’ve been hesitant to write these thoughts because I don’t want my 3rd kid (or any of my kids!) to read this one day and think that I didn’t want them, but I know that the fear and shame I still feel around what I know is a much more common occurrence than people talk about is exactly why I need to write this post.
*In this post I do list some specific fears and anxieties, so it could be triggering for others suffering from anxiety or those who have been through miscarriage or infant loss* Continue reading
What I’ve Learned since Quitting Facebook
OK, so I’m only six-ish months out… but here’s how my time away from facebook has gone so far- the good, the bad, and the frustrating. Continue reading
How I’m Doing on Goals Halfway Through 2018!
The year is officially halfway over and I’m ready to check in on how I did with my goals for June, what’s up for July, and a little more overview on the first half of the year. So let’s jump right in with a June recap: Continue reading
Here’s to the misfits
I feel like a lot of my posts recently have been inspired by a few of my favorite quotes, but I think my mind has just been on over drive the past few weeks and they help to organize my thoughts so today I’m continuing that trend. I was once told that I was a “whirling mass of contradictions” and that phrase has always stuck with me. Continue reading
What it’s like to be a recovering perfectionist
I have described myself several times as a “recovering perfectionist” and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. Continue reading
Alphabet Resolutions 